For what it's worth...Life sucks.
Despite being good, nice and caring, the focus is on your weaknesses, your vulnarabilities, your misgivings.
Perhaps there is no soul in the world as sick as mine. Twisted, burnt, unfaithful and impeccably corrupt.
Coming to think of it, I realize my heart is where my head should be and head where my heart should be.
Let's face it, I have been a recluse since my childhood and have desperately tried to act like someone good with relationships and friends.
I suck at commitments. I fuck my responsibilities.
I used to think I am sensible, sensitive and empathising . What a shame?
I am not even truthful to myself.
My baser nature which I have hidden behind the sophistication of family class and education, is more prominent now. I am a mediocre sucker for self-satisfying egoistic temparament requiring constant appreciation.
The solitude I used to love the most, is something I cannot afford now.
Like every action that is causing a reaction, every inaction is also begetting more powerful reactions the fathom of which my shit filled brain is so vainly trying to decipher.
My sense and sensibility have gone for a toss somewhere into the deep abyss.
Fuck me.
